She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
