Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
