I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
