I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I need a burrito and a hug.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
