I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Let's get the cat blown out
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
