Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
