he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
