yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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