Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Randomize
