There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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