tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
