Yo dont text me then not text me
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
