There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
