I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
