He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
