It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize