Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
