Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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