Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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