Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Randomize
