i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
