nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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