sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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