When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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