the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
