it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
