Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I didn't notice because vodka
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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