is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
