woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Randomize
