My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
