I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
