We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
