If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Randomize
