I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
