i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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