i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
