you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
