Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
