I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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