My friends, they love my intelligence
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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