I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
