I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
