Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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