you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
