Me too!
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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