What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
