pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
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