So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
