the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
