I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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