Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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