You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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