I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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