I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
