No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
