You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
