You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
